you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
