she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
