I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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