You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
wow bdsm is so cute
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
