Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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