Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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