He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
farters have to be the big spoon...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
