This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
