Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
