i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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