I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
