how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
