he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
