Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
