so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
