he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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