i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
