Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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