I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have post one night stand depression
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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