i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize