He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
