I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
