So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
