I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
