$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
