So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I could make wine with my vomit
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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