Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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