IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
