I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize