Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize