Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
