On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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