sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
vagina is talking i cant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
