Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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