What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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