So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
