Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
