He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This house was built for laser tag.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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