I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
