Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize