You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
