Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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