I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
