Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
