listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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