I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
