dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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