Porn is love you can see.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
