Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
