i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
