I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
