I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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