I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
