1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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