you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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