11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
