used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
