...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
