My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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