So drunk its hurt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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