yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
