I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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