There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
