Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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