Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
