why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
