My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
