I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
